Of Catterpillars and Butterflies

I am a very possessive kind of a person, I cannot let go of things easily. I am a kind of a person who still has alphabets’ and coloring books from my elementary school, who preserves chocolate wrappers, movie tickets and faded old photographs and protects them dearly; numerous scrap books, diaries and journals are an inevitable part of my existence and I still wear my late grandmother’s socks sometimes; so you get the idea. I live in the past and I am nuts :P :P :D

To me, letting go of something means, letting go of a part of myself. I changed my job last week. I let go of everything associated with the old one and I cried like crazy for four whole days. I caught fever, chills, and headaches and now that I am almost over it, I am fine again. But those four days were a torment to ‘A’ who once remarked, “You are crying as if somebody close to you died!” :P
I know the caterpillar needs to and should be a butterfly, I know stagnation is just out fear and will burn me out someday, but that’s how I am – nuts.

Coming to the ever present brighter part, though I miss my old office, my teammates (you guys were great!) and even the half-baked idlis there- too much to do justification to my new one, it’s good here :) It is better than what I am ready to admit at present. First day was very irksome, I didn’t have my workstation, everybody was unfamiliar, they looked like bullies – serious and grumpy and at every step I thought- oh this is different here- it was better there, why should I do this now? I used to do it differently there! Why is the cab taking a right turn? It should go straight! – After a lot of unjust judging and letting go of my preconceived notions, I am starting to like it here. I had a hearty laugh at the pantry today with my teammate which made me realize, may be these people are not as grumpy as they seem :) may be its just the time that needs to wear and patience that needs to bear :)

Comparisons will always be there and I will always have a soft corner for my first job and office but I have enough confidence that I will start liking this new place gradually :) I cannot be cross at the place I live or work, I cannot not like something after a while, I am confident that as usual I will like this place too much someday and will again be possessive enough about it to cling to it :)
And thanks for all your wishes! They meant a lot to me! :)

PS: Aaargh! There is no Bournvita kept here in the pantry :P :P
PPS: There is hot chocolate, though! :) :) :D